DEALING WITH DEATH: TURNING SH#T TO KOOLAID “Redeeming the time”

This particular letter is generally about financial stewardship; maximizing the return on your money and business. Yet, what about the ROI of your time; your whole life? 

When someone tragically dies, there’s little to say to the family and friends involved. It just sucks really bad. Difficult moments such as the tragic, radically pre-mature death of a celebrity offer a reminder of the brevity and fragile nature of life. Hopefully, also how important it is to live our lives to the full and not stop chasing our dreams.

It didn’t make the papers and there wasn’t social media back then, but my dad died young too. There’s a very specific pain in my gut that began at his death that hasn’t dissipated in 27 years. Yet, his wasn’t a wasted life. He left me with several moments and key messages that will carry on through generations.

Once, we went to a Carvel Ice Cream and a friend of mine was working the cash register. My friend told my dad and me that we didn’t have to pay. My dad paid anyway. We didn’t have much money, so on that way out, I asked why we didn’t take the free ice cream. My father taught, “He doesn’t own the business. We would’ve been stealing from the owner.” A lesson on integrity I never forgot and have taught my kids.

Because of wrestling in college, I didn’t get to come home for Christmas break. Between not seeing my family and having to make weight while everyone was eating ham and Christmas cookies, I was really depressed. I walked outside one day and there was my dad who surprised me by making the 3 hour drive up to see me.

In his short time on earth, he raised 3 boys that went on to become successful chiropractors, committed husbands, and devoted fathers as well. Dad’s was a short life, but a valuable life.

I Googled it. The statistics on death are still not good. Death still gets 1 out of 1. In a best-case scenario, we’re here for a relatively short time. As the great prophet Rocky Balboa shares, “Time takes everybody out; time’s undefeated.” Therefore, it’s all about what you do with the time that you have.

A great Bible illustration on this topic says, “Wake up sleeper, rise from the dead and Christ will shine on you! Be very careful how you live – not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, redeeming the time because the days are evil. Therefore, I’d not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.” Eph 5:14-17

Redeeming the time – exchange wasted, unfocused time for God time; effecting change and doing what you’ve been called to do in your brief time on the planet.

Martin Luther King Jr. gives us another illustration. He states, “Time itself is neutral; it can be used either destructively or constructively. More and more I feel that the people of ill will have used time much more effectively than have the people of goodwill. We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people, but for the appalling silence of the good people. Human progress never rolls in on wheels of inevitability; it comes through the tireless efforts of men willing to be coworkers with God, and without this hard work, time itself becomes an ally of the forces of stagnation.”

I’ve already lived beyond my dad’s years. When my dad died at such a young age, I was undone and really didn’t think I could function effectively at work or in my relationships anymore. A friend pointed out that I could dedicate my career to my dad and make my life about helping families not suffer the same fate. Ultimately, he told me to “redeem the time’ – to trade all my days from then until I die to help make the world better

To quote Samuel L. Jackson’s character in The Hitman’s Bodyguard, “When life gives you Sh#t, you make Kool Aid.” (Sorry for the lame reference) After dedicating my life to my dad, I went from one office to five offices in the next 2 years and wrote a NY Times Best-selling book. I’ve now opened 135 offices and counting, wrote 20 books, consulted for over 5000 people, and working on my 4th degree – all for my dad.

This is not so much my ROI, but God’s ROI. He invests in the world by depositing us here. The return is the exponential good we leave before we go.

God-speed,

Dr. Ben Lerner

Need help?  I’m here and willing!

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